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Since the idea of creating a blog crossed my mind (just after my daughter was born and life got a little more complicated) whenever I managed to do the first paragraph of that initial post, I found myself drifting away invariably as I just felt uneasy for some reason. Then, an event triggered my thoughts about it -you´ll read under- and was then that I realized what was my problem: I was afraid.

And I’m not talking about the feeling you get when you are faced with a 100 pound Amazonian spider. What I am talking about that foggy emotion that makes you doubt when faced with an opportunity, slapping you in the face with all possible negative results if you dare to take action toward something you desire. This feeling has the power of leaving you in a dumb limbo doing nothing while rethinking over and over about possibilities, sometimes just drives your attention away and gets you busy enough time for the opportunity -and the initial motivation- to disappear. In my case, the worries were diverse: will the blog be read, will I manage to write as good and as often to keep my audience happy, will I be able to keep the motivation high so I can win the negotiations with a hectic life. Those worries disappeared when my mind cleared in the bus the other day.

Opportunities also travel by bus.

As every morning, I left my daughter in her kindergarten and jumped into the bus I take to go to the office. Not long after I sat down I felt somebody was looking at me. I turn my head and found a guy admiring with perplexity the gorgeous twenty something girl sitting just besides me. In his face you could read that his feet were yelling at him “c’mon man!, move us just 3 steps and we´ll get you beside that venusian goddess so you can tell her something funny and make her fall for you!”. But his mind was replying “’What!, I´m not going there!. She won´t even notice me, and I don´t wanna be the fool of the bus”. This was for sure the typical scene for the 99% of all boys that sat eyes on her. But it was not long until that 1% different would appeared. It came from the other extreme of the bus and asked her -while looking into her eyes in a very relaxed way- “Excuse me, aren’t you on political economics class?”. For which she replied with a gentle smile “Don´t think so… I study engineering”. He laughed and threw some other nonsense at here which  led them to a conversation that didn’t stop even when they both drop off at her stop. Wow, this kid was the master! I wanted to be like him. I would have never done that so naturally at his age –or now-, even if I was drunk.

When I got out of the bus I thought I should write about this as an example of how having the courage to take action towards your desires can at least give you the chance to play for it. So understanding your fears is crucial if you want to empower yourself to take action.

Fear is much more powerful than logic

The neurologic mechanism of fear is rooted in the amygdale, a primitive but efficient structure  of our brain, so its a matter of evolution and survival why we tend to first run and then ask questions. Today that mechanism plays a major role in decision making processes, we use it to take simple decisions like running when crossing a street to not being hit by a car, or to more complex ones like assessing the viability of a business or when we decide to buy or sell stocks.

7 steps to conquer fear and have the advantage

This steps will help you use fear as a guide and not as an obstacle:

• Recognize your fears: Define clearly what are your worries and fears –this may be difficult, but if you master this, the other steps will be a piece of cake, and you will be in the kernel of your emotional intelligence.
• Visualize the best possible outcome: Daydream with success and enjoy the endorphins triggered by positive thinking. This will boost your motivation, reinforce your will to take action and provide you with the positive scenario you need for later.
• Define the negative outcome realistically: Don’t be a drama queen, we tend to exaggerate on the bad and negative expectations. Take this into account and define the negative scenario as objectively as you can. This way you can compare with the positive one and set the ‘good enough’ boundaries where results would be a success.
• Learn and get informed: Uncertainty is cured with information. Sometimes that means you have to make the boring spreadsheet numbers of a potential business, or face your partner with uncomfortable question about things that bother you. Information is power and you want it all.
• Plan: you have recognized your fears, you are informed and have the positive and negative scenarios. Is the moment to write down all you have and transform them into steps to achieve your goals. If the matter is to talk to somebody in the bus, stop talking to your feet and go for it.
• Take the first step: Take a decision and stick with it, don´t leave it for later, if is a complex or long term goal, set short deadlines to achieve baby steps of it everyday. Taking action will differentiate you further from the rest. See what happens, learn and get into the field to play again.
• Practice: Like in everything, practice is the key to mastership. You don´t need to have this list on your pocket, but have it in mind and come back to this post for inspiration when you need it.

Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think by leaving a comment under. And remember to subscribe to get the posts by email.